We’ve all done it at some point―frantically search google for some profound wisdom or poetry on “soothing broken hearts” or “rebounding from the depths of hell after being dumped.” We are desperate for anything that will bring us solace and ease our pain as we recover from that sucker-punch to the gut.
Chances are, you were ambushed, like a deer in headlights, with nothing more than a mere “Sorry, this isn’t working,” or “It’s not you, it’s me,” leaving you in a state of shock as you stare into a text or post-it. Depleted of oxygen and gasping for breath, the loss and rejection sink in leaving you completely devastated. You wonder whether life will go on… (enter Gloria Gaynor singing “I will survive“)
Here’s what you need to know first and foremost.
You are NOT alone. You are NOT being singled out by the fates to suffer. There’s nothing wrong with you. You simply got dumped. Supermodels get dumped. Celebrities get dumped. The most beautiful people in the world get dumped. You just happened to be on the receiving end this time, so get over it and move on. Whoever dumped you has had his own share of heartache, and with any luck, karma will come back to bite him in the ass! Remember, this is one person’s opinion. That’s it.
The good news―this is as bad as it gets. Okay, I’m lying. It gets a bit worse, but it’s up to you to take the first step, and the right one.
You’ve got two choices. You can accept that you’ve been dumped and let it be, let it be; or if you’re interested in marinating in your delusional state a bit longer, you can confront him head-on, and convince the fucker to undump you. Perhaps he lacks insight and self-awareness and needs you to enlighten him. Clearly you know this person better than he knows himself, right?
Really? Do you really want to be with someone, knowing you had to hold a gun to their head to persuade them to stay? These pathetic strategies will only reinforce the fact that you’re crazy and desperate and would likely shoot yourself in the stomach on his front stoop if you thought it might get him to pay you some attention!
Stop embarrassing yourself, and learn how to get over rejection. It’s just a part of life, like getting fired or losing a good friend. The trick is to see rejection as not a big thing, but to get used to it, to expect it, deal with it and become greater in spite of it.
No, there’s nothing good about being dumped or ignored at a party. Rejection is rejection, but on a personal level it feels worse because we all need to be loved, and when someone withdraws that love, we feel tossed aside like a bag a’ bones, an old rag, a torn sock and a myriad of other metaphors. We feel abandoned, lost and grief-stricken. One minute you’re going down one road together, and the next, you’re alone and heading for a curve you can’t see beyond. Of course it hurts. It hurts like hell, but this is just one emotional scraping that will heal beautifully, if not picked.
So you got dumped. While knowing the reason why he broke up with you might be nice (if you’re looking to torture yourself), it really doesn’t matter in the larger scheme of things. Over the course of your life on this planet, this relationship will be nothing more than a short blip; a road-side stop for sex along the highway to happiness.
So get on with your life. Yes, we know you really loved him. It was special. He told you he loved you. Got it. We’ve all been there, and our lives are so much better since we’ve moved on.