It’s the Age of the Hot, Sexy MILF – Once Taboo, Now Perversely Erotic

An image exuding an eroticism suggests that motherhood is not the death of her desirability.

We live in a glorious era in which motherhood has become synonymous with audacious, adventurous, confident and perversely seductive. It’s the age of the MILF, or to put more crudely, Mom I’d Like to Fuck—an acronym both repulsive and appealing. Repulsive particularly to our Matriarchal feminists of the 70′s, who would view ‘MILFdom’ not as a solution, but rather a self-destructive form of female-chauvinist piggery. (heard that term somewhere and it stuck)

Are moms so afraid of seeming past their prime that they accept objectification as a compliment?

Yes, that would have been a mild version of what we would have heard from our militant sisters back then, when competition over sex and beauty among women was taboo and to be outlawed. Outlawed! No wonder these feminists were so damned rigid about sex! The easy access women had to one another’s bodies was a natural solution to their anti-male agenda. A woman lying down with another woman, and the world doesn’t bat an eye.

So how did a once taboo erotic fetish become this widespread?  Why the colossal fascination with the hot mom, and why now?

Maybe it has to do with women’s conceiving later in life, and being more resistant to surrendering a sexuality they’ve spent decades building. Or, it could be that for ages women have been drawn towards the forbidden―ie: bad boys, the ultimate seducers.  It could also be a looks thing, given that women—with the aid of Pilates, botox and nip/tuck, can turn back time to a sometimes alarming degree (ie: Joan Rivers.)

The evidence surrounds us, with MILF branding and tees, to the plethora of new hot housewife driven reality shows. We can also thank Demi and Madonna whose “cougar” relationships have played out most notably in the tabloids. While Demi has worked relentlessly to earn her the MILF honor, women like Dina Lohan have failed miserably. Clearly not all MILFs are created equal. Demi seems to understand that the allure of the MILF lies between appearing both maternal and doable, like Madonna.

Dina Lohan, on the other hand, seems to have missed the mark completely―constantly pictured clubbing with Lindsay, sipping champagne, living off her daughter, and bragging to the media that she is more of a sister than a mom. Over-tanned and under-concerned about your daughter’s welfare and rehab, sorry to say Dina, makes you very un-hot. You, are not a true MILF.

The twisted genius of this MILF culture, where blatant objectification is passed off as a compliment, has left us a bit conflicted. As modern sensual women, we’re torn by two fears: that having children will make us unsexy, and that trying to stay sexy will make us look ridiculous like…well..Dina Lohan. There’s the exhausting pressure of wanting to have it all, be desirable during pregnancy and the race to snap your body back into shape (everywhere…where it counts) so that you can look forward to earth shattering sex…Hello, kegel! Then of course there’s that small detail of resurrecting your libido in between breastfeeding and diaper changing.

Is MILF an insult or a compliment? Personally I can’t think of any context where it wouldn’t be a compliment. I’d say it’s a crude compliment, something like “Your daughter is a really attractive girl- great figure” meaning pretty much the same as “Your daughter has a great set of tits and a fantastic ass” and the latter, although crass and more to the point, would probably get a different reaction. It’s an observation that although you’re of an age to have had children, or even grandchildren, you’re still a damn sexy woman that your typical hot-blooded straight male would love to get naked with…and for most, it’s even a little more straightforward than that.

But in the end, we are suckers for the MILF. There is something captivating about a mom taking back the negligee, an image exuding an eroticism that suggests that motherhood is not the death of her desirability. Besides, the MILF fantasy unveils a whole slew of scenarios, role plays and seduction that are the ultimate for every man, young and old, married and single.

Get rid of your inhibitions and engage in a little role-playing in your marriage, and I guarantee you’ll add a little spice and everything nice…

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6 Responses to It’s the Age of the Hot, Sexy MILF – Once Taboo, Now Perversely Erotic

  1. Minka says:

    Really well articulated, Karen! My simplest reply is that I never, for a second, took this phrase to be anything but a compliment and am in total agreement with you. Lets face it, does anyone ever really dislike being told they’re attractive? On the other hand, people who think there’s a difference between being considered “attractive” by someone, rather than “fuckable,” is in total puritanical denial. We are animals. Despite our intellectual and spiritual compulsions to be something better — or rather “more” –, this is simply not the reality. The first time I received the honor of being called a MILF I was totally psyched. “I’ve still got it!” I thought to myself, smiling all the while. And I agree with everything you said as to why this has become somewhat of a phenomenon — having children later, staying in better shape, plastic surgery and botox, etc. But it is definitely a balancing act — not confusing being sexy with acting immature. The only thing that sometimes challenges my ability to walk that line is my daughter’s reactions to me. She’s still a tween, but very aware. And every now and then, I can tell she wishes I looked more stereotypically “maternal.” Yet at the same time, she has also voiced how proud she is that her mom is an athlete who takes good care of herself and dresses “cool.” I suppose this shows that there is still a troubling distance left to travel for women in today’s culture — the fact that my daughter has questions about a woman’s image and what is or isn’t correct or acceptable… To say she’s picking up on my inner conflict is, I think, too simple an analysis. No doubt she’s picking up a lot of her attitudes from media and others around her… Anyway, great blog. Thanks!

  2. Karen says:

    Two birds of a feather…Must be a bit of the “How the hell did I grow up in NY, and end up freakin’ here” syndrome. Although in lieu of screenwriting in Hollywood, I opted to perfect my calf roping in Colorado. Either way, here we are, me in suburbia, you living dangerously close to the Ohio state line. Both of us trying to making sense of the absurdity of our lives with literary humor, occasional rants, and in my case a lot of long-winded gibberish.
    Loved your comment..you must have been stifling the “snarky and wittily articulated scorn” for your own blog..regardless, I’m glad you had something to contribute. It was appropriate given the slew of acronyms I’d been recently exposed to writing some erotica for phone sex blogs. Yes, my Jewish mother would be ‘kvelling.’

    Being a “hot” single mom, (not to be confused or compared to the likes of Hollywood goddesses), and knowing you still “have it,” is an awesome feeling (when the hormones aren’t kicking my hot ass) I’ve always been a sensual person, and my recent entry into the online dating world after a long hiatus, was proof that the hotness factor is so much more about sex appeal than standard good looks. In my case, “fuckability” has had more to do with a certain air of confidence, my embracing my middle-aged sexuality, and my focus not being so much about the future as living in the moment. My expressions seem to exude it all…the lust, the erotic urges, that reptilian need to feel good and to stimulate ourselves. It’s that hunger to regress to an animalistic and primal state that makes us even more “fuckable,” especially as a mom. Add on the maternal factor, the devotion, the sacrifices, instincts to protect your cubs at all costs, “hot damn,” as they say here in W. Virginia! I think your daughter is lucky to have a mom that is not repressed and can teach her to embrace all that she is, eliminating her desperation to fit into an unrealistic mold. It’s a good thing you’re not in LA anymore. If she sees her own mom being perceived as hot, “even at “her age,”she’ll embrace age, her sexuality and that fabulous journey of a woman’s llife. I say, wear that milfdom with honor and milk that “fuckability” as long as you can!

    Minka, you rock! Love your blog..Keep on reading!

  3. btrast says:

    We haven’t mentioned the age of the DILF.. Dad I’d like to F…. Casserole women are everywhere.We meet at soccer games, baseball games and school events regularly. As well as those guys looking for MILF’s. The terms DILF as well as Milf are complimentary at best. The question is what”s best for our children? The answer seems to be that our kids don’t need this from us. Lets be adults ” Teach your children well” Love your children well!! you’re next!!

    • Karen says:

      The age of the DILF will warrant a bit more exploration..I think blatant milfdom existed long before dilfdom came into the picture..but hey, why shouldn’t they get the same focus. Nothing is quite as sexy as a man who’s loving and playful with his children! … That’s when he’s the most selfless, patient and fun-loving…That’s when we get to see the 10 year old child within..

      Not sure what you meant by our kids “not needing this from us.”
      A milf is simply a sexually desirable mother..It doesn’t mean that because she is desirable, she’s got to act out every man’s fantasy..

  4. Bruce says:

    Great post Karen!!

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