Author Archives: Karen

Being on the Other Side of Young Just Means, Being on the Other Side of Young

We all have to come to that epiphany at some point—either cower at the notion of aging or embrace the fucker. And occasionally, a bitch slap is what it takes to put our heads in the right place. Screw women … Continue reading

Posted in The Scarlet Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

On Valentine’s Etiquette – So, What’s a Guy to do that Ain’t got a Clue?

Ah, Valentine’s Day―another holiday that manages to inspire warmth and contempt in the masses. Whether you’re stupid crazy in love, in a new happy fog, or unwaveringly single, there apparently is some form of Valentine’s Day etiquette to abide by … Continue reading

Posted in The Scarlet Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Dater Beware: Not so New and Deadly Mutations of Men to Watch out For

Even if you’re the most intuitive of women, with no fears of intimacy, co-dependency, boundary issues, or run-of-the-mill neurosis, there are those men that can slip through the cracks, ruin an otherwise good life, and make you wish you had … Continue reading

Posted in Dishin' Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

New York City Haters: Where’s all the Love?

Travel anywhere in our great country and tell people where you are from (your accent will probably give it away), and you’ll soon be paraphrasing Sally Field’s infamous acceptance speech: “You hate us right now―you really hate us!” The truth … Continue reading

Posted in Dishin' Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ain’t No Country for Old Women – Aging Broads in a bit of a Quandary

NO bitching about aging. Seriously, not a word—unless you’re retaining water, sleep with an oscillating fan, and have to measure out food because of a metabolism gone awry. Particularly you men out there, complaining that fifty sucks. Yeah, you! Just … Continue reading

Posted in Dishin' Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

9/11 Remembrance: A Tribute to America’s Resolve – the Steel in Us

The tragedy of September 11, 2001 will be indelibly recorded in our visual consciousness―seared in our memory as if it were yesterday. Each one of us can remember with great clarity where we were and what we were doing as … Continue reading

Posted in The Scarlet Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Dire Consequences of Falling in Love

There is nothing worse than listening to the incoherent ramblings of a good friend when she’s fallen in love. Euphoric-walking-on-air-state-of temporary-bliss, kind of love, when all her hopes and dreams have come true, the stars are aligned, birds soar in … Continue reading

Posted in Dishin' Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Distracted Like a Fox – Trapped in a Hurricane of Hormonal Suckery

You’ve probably been wondering where I’ve been the past ‘few’ months—why for two years, I’ve been consistent in spewing my ‘dogma,’ and then poof, I’m a one-hit wonder. So where have I been? Good question. The details are a bit … Continue reading

Posted in Dishin' Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fifty is the new “Fuck You, Who Cares How Old I am, I’m Fabulous…or at Least Working on it!”

The big day has come and gone, striking like an unpredicted cyclone and sucking me into an era of senior quips, early bird specials and a whole slew of new annual exams and procedures. HAPPY FREAKIN’ BIRTHDAY to me! My mindset … Continue reading

Posted in The Scarlet Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Maladjusted and Dysfunctional: The New Frontier

  “There’s been an accident. The new hearse is totaled. Your father is dead. Your father is dead, and my pot roast is ruined.”   –Six Feet Under As much as we try to sugar-coat them with terms like “eccentric” … Continue reading

Posted in Dishin' Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Oh America: Ye Prudish Prigs!

What’s all the fuss about exposed willies and ta-tas? Unless you’ve sworn off all media recently, you’ve almost certainly heard that back in August, the royals got their knickers in a knot when nude photos surfaced of one very fine … Continue reading

Posted in Dishin' Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

It’s my Party and I’ll Smile if I Want to!

There is nothing more offensive and more likely to bring out the Cinderella bitch in you, as a virtual stranger saying to you, “Smile! Things can’t be THAT bad!” Are you kidding me? Who are these clueless clods to think … Continue reading

Posted in Dishin' Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Boundary Issues – the Hot New Malady Du Jour

You know that sappy-eyed look you get when someone is falling head-over-heels for you? You know the look. The soft, runny, weak, and worshipful, I’m-crazy-in-love-with-you-and-will-put-up-with-anything-because-I’m-a-doormat look, that annoys the shit out of you? Yeah, that’s the one. You hate the … Continue reading

Posted in Dishin' Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Year of the Woman: Purging the Stigma and Flying Solo

Too many of us broads seem to have gone astray, so at the risk of sounding like a Gloria Steinem groupie, I need to reiterate something here. “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.” Yeah, yeah, … Continue reading

Posted in Sassy Single Mamas | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ode to Guilt & Shame: The Stigma of Solo

For those of us who have ever experienced an unusually long dry spell in between Mr. Rights, the humming and tapping of our feet, waiting for that special someone to trip over us can feel like an entire decade. Millions … Continue reading

Posted in Dishin' Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

When Crazy is Wrapped in Beautiful, it’s Hard to Keep on Walking

(inspired by July post, “The Enticing Breed of the Psychopathic Woman” …partial excerpts of previous comments by Minka Fieldstone & Karen Catalan) Like moths to a flame, we are seduced by that which can kill us. We all want to … Continue reading

Posted in The Scarlet Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Next Stop, Intercourse―Pennsylvania, that is

Unless you’ve been hiding under a rock the last few decades, you’ve probably heard of the slew of oddly named Pennsylvania towns in or around Lancaster County. There’s a story about a traveler who is looking to Mount Joy in Intercourse, … Continue reading

Posted in The Scarlet Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

City Girl Amok in Amish Country

I’m giddy with excitement. Environments are changing…the mind cleansing. This sassy, snarky, city slicker has shoved off to Amish country. Complicated and befuddled ex-New York woman, now residing in an uncomplicated, farm-ridden, Amish livin’ country. Wait. I think I hear … Continue reading

Posted in The Scarlet Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Enticing Breed of the Psychopathic Woman

Remember when sex couldn’t kill you unless you lost control of the car? What is it that makes the seemingly sane man seek out the certifiably crazy? These otherwise smart guys can’t seem to stay away from those shiny poisonous … Continue reading

Posted in The Scarlet Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Men do Love a Bitch – Crossing the line from Passive to Bitch-hood

Gettin’ your bitch on doesn’t need to involve bustin’ a cap in someone’s ass or hittin’ up some hot bitches. “Shit did you see Kayla last night? Dat bitch had her hood on!” Okay, so I may not be that … Continue reading

Posted in The Scarlet Dogma | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment