What’s all the fuss about exposed willies and ta-tas?
Unless you’ve sworn off all media recently, you’ve almost certainly heard that back in August, the royals got their knickers in a knot when nude photos surfaced of one very fine Prince Harry—and then again last month, when the lovely Duchess of Cambridge, found her naked breasts the topic of much discussion when they found their way into a French magazine (no thanks to Mr. sleazy cameraman who got the best of her)
And while the buff Prince let down his guard and neglected to keep his willie tightly under wraps and hidden from view during a friendly game of strip billiards in his Vegas hotel suite, Ms. Middleton was simply enjoying some semblance of normalcy on her few off days while vacationing on a private island with Prince William.
Needless to say, Buckingham Palace was up in arms over this. Surely Harry must have known that a camera or two would be camouflaged as a pen or a nipple pastie and used to expose his crown jewels to the common people. Outrage! Breaking out in cold sweats over the Prince’s shenanigans, and desperate for some damage control, it’s likely the royal family had to summon their own version of “The Wolf” to clean up this mess.
Of course this is all very amusing to us, given our prudish tendencies. Thanks to English royalty, nude photo scandals have become a family affair and Prince Harry, has assumed the role of quintessential bad boy—the Dirty Harry of royalty. The perils of free love have come and gone for us. We had our chance to be considered cool and madly casual about sex—to be branded the “slutty nation,” but now that the sixties have passed, we’re simply a bunch of prudish prigs living vicariously through British royalty and their indiscretions.
In all fairness, the royals do tend to ask for it. Wasn’t it a mere 20 years ago, that Sarah Ferguson, wife of Prince Andrew, was featured on a tabloid, topless and having her toes sucked by her American lover…while she was still married? You’ve got to hand it to those Brits, they’ve got us all fooled. Toe sucking, mistresses, divorces, confessions, gaffes, Prince Philip, Diana, Charles, Camilla, Fergie, Edward….Fuck! It’s exhausting!
Stuffy my ass! Americans are the prudes by any measure. We should be thanking the royal family for relieving our prudish sentiments with all these fascinating stories. The mere visual of the royal Prince buff naked, pool cue in hand, covering his family jewels—Diana must be turning in her grave.
Clearly her cheeky chap of a son was enjoying himself, and why shouldn’t he be? He’s 27. He’s a freakin’ prince. He’s loaded. He’s single. He’s just a guy being a guy—having a bit of consensual fun. Ok, yeah, so he’s a prince. And he’s naked.
Sin City? H e l l l l l o!
And Charles, not a sound out of you—prancing around with Camilla whilst married! I say, let freedom reign. The poor lad has had a stifled enough childhood living under the world’s scrutiny. No child should have to endure that. What good is a Prince without a playground?
I say, let that willy hang, Harry. The world will get over it. And we all need to get over our prudishness.