It’s my Party and I’ll Smile if I Want to!

"Make me!"

There is nothing more offensive and more likely to bring out the Cinderella bitch in you, as a virtual stranger saying to you, “Smile! Things can’t be THAT bad!” Are you kidding me? Who are these clueless clods to think that everything is rosy for everyone all of the time; and how dare they make that assumption about someone they don’t know?

With even the most basic, entry level insights into feminism, one would think that men would stop their compulsion to cheerfully insist that women smile. At the very least, it’s rude, unsolicited and sexist; not to mention a rather lame attempt at conversation or interaction. Does the man feel he is entitled to order a perfect stranger to smile on command—dictate her mood to satisfy his own comfort? Are we not allowed a grimace every now and then?

Don’t men realize that a smile is not a natural expression? Unless you’re the Joker…or from the south?

Try that in New York, where you’ll never get an undeserved compliment, a begrudging smile, or direct eye contact, and you’ll get nothing short of a well-deserved “WTF! How freakin’ dare you” attitude—and that may be sugarcoating it. New Yorkers have a tendency, when being verbally assaulted by an outsider or stranger, to band together as one. Yes, we are the effin world.

My point being, whatever your mood, you’re entitled to it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for a frown, grimace or an uncomfortable leer. You smile when you have reason to—when you want to. Not when ordered to by a random ‘smile Nazi.’

It would appear, in my opinion, that because we are women—curvy, soft, sensual and sometimes scented, that we are looked upon as delicate flowers intended to brighten a room like decorative works of art…but only if we are smiling. Newsflash.

Can you say E S T R O G E N?

Why the resentment, and what is so bad about smiling? Absolutely nothing! But from now on, I’ll smile when I damn well please.

So to the man who says “smile,” how about you frown for an hour and get back to me.

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