Has Chivalry ‘Checked Out’ or Still in Hibernation?

"... a period that seems both long ago and just yesterday..."

It was the late 70’s when I started dating, a period that seems both long ago and just yesterday. It was the mark of distinction to show some chivalrous behavior, even if it was a front put on for my parent’s benefit. Being put on full display meant that my date had to behave himself―keep his hands where they could be seen, help me with my coat and hold the door open. Our date would inevitably end with a kiss, which always seemed the most nerve wracking part of the date…not so much the kiss, as the occasional slip of the tongue! Yuck!

By college, I was a serial monogamist and had already done the dating circuit. I probably had more different dates in high school than afterward. Having experienced several long faithful relationships, here is what I observed. During the early stages of the relationship―the dating phase, chivalry would take center stage, if only long enough to reel me in; but after the thrill of the chase was over, chivalry became just another word, and a lost art.

The days of men who boldly and without remorse did things intended to protect and defend the honor of a woman, are long gone. Chivalry appears to have ‘checked out.’ Nowadays, the fear of committing politically incorrect acts and the backlash of militant feminists, has scared them into hibernation―or so the masculists claim.

Are all women now indoctrinated with the anti-male feminist agenda? Are we lumped into a scary bunch of ball-busting, man-hating feminists campaigning for their demise? If so, then chivalry may in fact be dead. Who knew that Gloria Steinem and Billie Jean King would single-handedly neuter a gender!

There will always be those that believe that the slightest acts of chivalry, belittle and degrade women―but they are the minority and possibly part of the Steinem family tree.

...damned bunch of ball-busting, man-hating feminists!

I don’t know whether women gave up on chivalry or men gave up on themselves. But what I can tell you, is that I speak for the majority of women when I say, that we miss you and that lost treasure buried somewhere deep in the sea of humanity. That chivalry.

Will it make a comeback or has it checked out for good?

I hope it will, because smart girls deserve better; and I would hate to think that because of that minority of ‘indoctrinated’ women, men have lost their cajones.

So please, get over your gun-shyness and come out of the cave. You’re looking a little pale.

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4 Responses to Has Chivalry ‘Checked Out’ or Still in Hibernation?

  1. jlusher says:

    The feminism of the male population has to stop! I love the fact that you have written a post that has the word cajones in it! That is freaking priceless! I have always been and will always be chivalrous. My mother taught me well :) Holding doors, helping a lady with her coat, whatever is needed, I am there! I think it is appreciated by 99% of woman; and the other 1%, well they just really don’t understand what it is all about. it is not degrading, it is out of respect!!

    • Karen says:

      Out of all the euphemisms I could muster up, ‘cajones’ seemed to speak volumes..and it looks good on me…or so I’m told. I find that too many men use feminism as an excuse to retreat to the cave with their tail between their legs. If you’re a chivalrous person, you have class, integrity and self-respect, because you have nothing to prove. You’re comfortable with your masculinity and aren’t threatened by the Steinhem followers, and you can ignore the ballbusting man-hating lesbians that spew venom. You know better.
      Just because I take a feminist approach to life and support the empowerment of women, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to be treated like a lady..that I don’t adore a man w/grace, class and chivalrous. Unfortunately, they are few and far between. If they only realized how much more they would get in return!
      This would be the reason for the brick in the head;)

  2. Minka says:

    One — men are lazy. Many of them won’t make an extra effort unless it’s a: going to get them laid (which, once you’re in a relationship, seems to be a given… unless that relationship is marriage. ha!) and b: things have to hit rock bottom before they’ll change behaviors. Translation: you threaten to dump them, or at the very least, you need to shriek hysterically at the top of your lungs while sobbing and wielding a knife in order to get them to take you seriously.
    Two — they fear us, and therefore resent us. but really, they just fear us. kind of like extraterrestrials… because we fear that which we don’t understand. and seriously, who the fuck can understand women anyway? I am one, and I barely understand us. We barely understand ourselves. We are so complex that we need a word that means “more than complex.”
    My husband has mostly remained chivalrous, and I know I’m among the minority. He prides himself on it, mainly because his father was such a douchebag, and he’s aiming to be the opposite of his father. But as with most things male — they just need to be told what to do, or rather, what we want them to do. Because they can’t read minds. They don’t know that this shit matters to us, and unfortunately, a lot of women don’t have the balls that you do, Scarlet lady, to tell it like it is. We do like chivalry, even though we were raised to think we’re not supposed to. And this is probably a whole other topic — women getting honest with themselves and each other in the age of politically correct bullshit.
    Tell the guys you like that stuff. Don’t assume they’ll know it. And that pretty much goes for just about anything — they need to hear it explicitly and simply stated. And even after that, reminded. After that, if they do heed your requests, reward them. Kinda like a puppy in training.
    I don’t blame them for not being mindreaders. It’s more our fault for expecting them to be. And who’d wanna read my mind anyway? It’s a frickin’ scary place!

    • Karen says:

      Sorry woman, just seeing this now, but since it’s more important for me to plaster you onto my virtual billboard, so that I get a guest post out of you tonight while simultaneously getting out of my own, I’m going to come back to you, have a glass, sit back and enjoy the show.
      Yes, Mars/Venus bullshit..we’re simply two different animals meant to come together in harmony after butting, heads, horns or other body parts. We think differently, we verbalize and most men don’t. Women do tend to make things more complicated than they need to be..believe you me..guilty..but I’m an ace at breaking the ice with playfulness and flirty/pillow fight seduction..works like a charm.
      I did say I would come back to this, so before my wine carries me away to an Eat Pray Love moment, I best be posting your brilliance..So without further ado…

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