And now a few words about a very taboo subject…
Dear Esteemed and Awesomely Cool Readers:
The Scarlet Dogma has honored/flattered/scared the shit out of me by allowing me to speak from her sophisticated, sexy, sassy and provocative podium. Regarding subject matter, her basic guideline was “the more taboo, the better.” So here’s my problem (or at least the most immediate one―what the hell is considered taboo these days?
In the age of reality television and this crazy inter-web deal, where EVERYTHING is on display, is anything off limits anymore? Sure, there are still the illegal things, like murder, pedophilia, incest etc. But that’s some sick shit that goes beyond taboo. Or if it falls under the taboo umbrella, I’d rather walk unprotected in the rain. So call me prudish, but I ain’t touching that stuff, and hopefully you’ll be cool with that.
Used to be back in “olden times” (as my daughter calls anything pre-1995), there were a bazillion go-to subjects if you wanted to discuss (or avoid) taboos: masturbation, adultery, alcoholism, women needing sex as much as men do, homosexuality… But today… seriously? What is considered shameful when everything is revealed, often on film or video and to millions of youtube or Oprah viewers…?
Take me, for instance. (you’d be doing my husband a favor, by the way). You know what my definition of a taboo subject is? Anything that might upset my husband, mother or children. But that could just as easily be mommy opening her big mouth and actually SPEAKING HER MIND at the PTA meeting (yet again), or bringing the crappiest cupcakes to the bake sale, as it could be “the UPS man brought mommy this thing called a vibrator.”
So before I waste the precious space that The Scarlet Dogma has so generously loaned to me, I want to hear from YOU. Yes, YOU there, who reads but says nothing in return. What is your idea of taboo in today’s tell-all culture?
I’m hoping that with enough of your thoughtful and insightful feedback, I can craft a post worthy of the woman who has opened her blog to me, as well as her devoted readers, who clearly are people possessing wit, intelligence, and above all, good taste in bloggers!
Get back to me soon, yo! This is a great topic and I want it to be the result of a dialogue, not the monologue that runs through my head….
(And ps―if I seriously get enough replies that the only taboos left are: incest, murder, pedophilia, etc… you should know that I will not shy away from dealing with that disturbing/interesting fact)
I thank you in advance….
– Minka Fieldstone
A mommy blog, a working mom blog, a parenting blog, a Hollywood-exile blog, a “how the hell did I grow up in N.Y., work in L.A. and end up in the Mid-freakin’-West” blog…which is essentially my literary attempt to make sense of this absurd, increasingly impossible and self-destructive juggling act we call life in the 21st century.
Minka, SOOOO Glad I have found you and the Scarlet Dogma!! It has been like a release of karma energy. As a housewife in Kansas there just isn’t much of this available to me with my local girls. I am not sure I am a good judge of what is taboo either. It seems like there is so much out there and its all OK. I will think about this and will try to give you what might be taboo to me — although maybe my husband showing a naked picture of me to a couple we were out to dinner with might be something that should be taboo. I will keep reading!!!
Great post Minka and a WOO HOO to The Scarlet Dogma for having you guest post! Very interesting question as the lines have shifted; what is considered Taboo really has changed. The old taboo subjects are now discussed publicly, but the more shunned topics (incest, etc.) are still not as talked about. I don’t have the answer honestly. I think the more serious topics will stay taboo, but I firmly believe the line will keep getting pushed further and further. My question is not what is taboo anymore, but will we reach a day that nothing is taboo?!
Sex is no longer a taboo topic…you are absolutely right. But what can you say in a group of people, to get everyone at the table all hot and bothered? Evidently
it’s politics. This is topic we all have to avoid at social gatherings, or endure name-calling, fist-fights and everyone leaving your event good and pissed off.
Why such an issue? We can discuss vibrators and how we trim our pubic hair, but fuck if we comment leaning to one political parties ideologies or anothers.
Then you have truely crossed the line. They used to say that the worst things to discuss in a bar were religion and politics. I think those still stand in most social events,
unless your main goal is to start a large disagreement. But I’ve never seen it NOT get ugly. Conservatives lean on their moral values to guide their beliefs, so they
are very closed-minded most of the time to an open dialogue on issues that, for them are settled. Liberals don’t want to bring a debate of moralities, it’s more about
what’s least restrictive. But they can’t meet on common ground and just agree to disagree, because the divide is too great. The last great Taboo?
That made me laugh, and you’re right. It’s weird that sexual topics you mentioned have become okay, but seemingly benign topics like religion and politics can ruin a party or family gathering faster than you can say bipartisan. Politics and religion are both items that a lot of people have strong opinions about and are generally unwilling to be convinced otherwise, growing particularly venomous to opposition. If there is a last great taboo, as you said, I think this may indeed be it.
Thanks so much for the great comments. I think it’s such an interesting topic right now because we live at this weird time where what’s permissible and acceptable are shifting constantly. I guess we’re a culture/society in transition, in flux. To a certain degree, I think the whole idea of “taboo” may be what’s becoming taboo (!) as we strive toward this extreme notion of being “open,” but of course so many people are full of shit and hypocritical about being open — yet it seems to be this cool idea that people want to identify themselves with. And yes, jlusher, I have thought about that idea of reaching a day when nothing is taboo… and what would that be like? Does society have a need for them? Or do laws function as our sole guiding code when taboos no longer exist…? Anyway, don’t wanna squander all my half-assed, still semi-formed thoughts here and now…. need to let them brew a little before writing the follow up to this first part! Maybe even go engage in a little “taboo” behavior myself for inspiration… ha!
Taboo, hmm. Suede leather and Taboo fragrance is imprinted in this memory. That brings back memories of secret meetings and awkward but passionate teen sex. So a good kind of Taboo here.
If you can’t take back something that you know will offend is a good place to start for Taboo criteria. Free speech was a 70’s thing from my perspective (grumpy old man). I’m 58 and now fuck the free speech and give me respect any day. I learned from the first two ex’s that arguing is an activity best suited for those under 50. Well timed complacency is a strategy that pisses off high strung, intense over achievers, and is a popular weapon in the over 50’s arsenal. The group you are in should have a strong influence on what is taboo for them.
As a member of a group you tend to be conciliatory so you can stick around. Visitors and those “outside” the group should respect the lines. But then “fuck em” tone might get you a reality show.